I'm Fine
by EmpireEmpress
Summary: I'm Fine. That's what Barry always says. I'm Fine. Barry wants more than anything for that to be true. But, until then he'll just have to keep faking and hope no one finds out. Especially Oliver Queen. Major Flarrow. Some other ships but, Flarrow is number one ship.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Readers I am happy to present you with my first Flash** **fan-fiction** **. It's also my first to contain an** **obvious** **ship.**

 **Comment just because!**

 **Enjoy the show! ;)**

Barry Allen sat in his CSI room above the police station in Central City. He had spent all morning filling out paperwork, analyzing blood samples, and running to several different crime scenes. He was exhausted by noon.

"Hey, you want to get some lunch?" Asked a male voice that startled the forensics. He clumsily flipped out of his chair. His head his the floor hard, dazed, Barry pulled himself off the floor.

"You okay Barry? That was a pretty hard fall." Laughed the man. Barry shook off his dizziness and gave him a joking glare.

"Ollie, you know not to scare me like that." Barry joked play punching Oliver in the shoulder.

"Well where would be the fun in that?" Oliver asked as he grasped Barry's waist and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Should I just leave these here or what?" Joe asked awkwardly as he stepped into the room, a large pile of papers in hand. Oliver broke off from the kiss and let Barry sort out the papers. Once he was finished, the young man joined the billionaire and they were off to lunch.

"So where are we going to eat?" Barry asked, Oliver hadn't told him earlier. Oliver looked over and smiled, a thing only certain people like Barry could do.

"It's a surprise." He answered. Barry rolled his eyes in a joking manner. Whenever Barry asked a question like that, Oliver always said it was a surprise. It drove Barry crazy.

"You look so cute when you're upset." Oliver said before connecting his lips with Barry's. Barry wrapped his arms around his lover's neck, pulling him closer. Oliver pulled Barry onto his lap and wrapped his arms around the younger's waist. The car stopped outside of a small cafe. It wasn't one Barry has been too.

"If you two wouldn't mind getting untangled, we're here." Diggle said annoyed. He hated seeing Barry with Oliver because he knew one day Oliver was going to break the poor kid's heart. Just like he did with every other girl he met, Oliver Queen's love was a curse. The two lovers got out of the car and walked into the small cafe. It was cozy and homey. The walls were a calming shade of light blue with thick vertical stripes, a few paintings from local artists were hung up. They took a seat next a window. The tables were handmade, they had an circular oak wood top with iron legs. The chairs matched the tables and were also handmade. A small vase holding three white roses sat in the middle of the table. The light streaming from the window shone gently on Barry's pale skin making him look angelic. Oliver took notice of this. The waiter came over with two glasses of water and a cup of coffee.

"Here's your coffee sir." The waiter set the beverage in front of Barry with a small wink.

"Oh, thanks but, I didn't order a coffee." Barry stammered slightly uncomfortable by the stranger's actions. Oliver gave him a glare that said 'get lost, he's mine.' The waiter took their order and hurriedly left. While waiting for their food the two men made small talk. It was mostly about how the nightclub was going, any new cases, family. The waiter returned with their orders. Barry's phone buzzed from a text, it was Cisco. There was a robbery downtown. Oliver knew what happened before Barry had even opened his mouth.

"Make it quick and be careful." Where Oliver's words before The Flash sped to the scene of the crime. There were twelve customers and three clerks being held hostage at the bank. The Flash skidded to a halt.

"You can go in there, put the money back and let these hostages go, or we can do it the hard way." The Flash said. The criminal just stood in front of him not moving at all. Suddenly the speedster was hit with wave after wave of pain, sadness, and anger. He fell to his knees, clutching his head. The Flash cried out in agony as the waves of emotion kept hitting him, harder and harder.

"Barry? Barry!" Cisco's worried voice sounded over the comm. Caitlin ran around S.T.A.R Labs prepping medical equipment.

"His vitals are dropping Cait!" Cisco shouted working with the computers.

"He needs to get back here now!" Caitlin demanded. As soon as the words left her lips, The Flash came stumbling into the cortex. His chest heaving, his heart going crazy, his head reeling.

"Cisco help me with Barry. Dr. Wells I need you to call Oliver." Caitlin ordered. She and Cisco lifted the injured man and carefully laid him on the medical table. Cisco hooked up machinery while Caitlin got needles and other medicines ready. Dr. Wells wheeled into an empty room and regrettably called Oliver.

"Cisco start chest compressions." Caitlin commanded as she prepped the AED. Tears started to form in Cisco's eyes but he refused to let them fall. He had to be strong for Barry.

"Clear!" Caitlin shouted as she shocked Barry. A jolt was followed by a large gasp from Barry. Caitlin put the AED away and did some scans. They had finished the scans when none other than Oliver Queen burst into the cortex.

"Barry!" He shouted as he ran over to the speedster. He pulled the other into a hug.

"Whoa, Ollie, calm down. I'm fine." Barry's voice was muffled by Oliver's shirt. The billionaire released him and instead took a seat next to Barry, wrapping his arms around Barry's waist.

"So, Caitlin what happened?" Barry asked, Caitlin looked up from her scan results.

"The hippocampus was overwhelmed which confused your heart." Caitlin explained. Cisco noticing the confused looks on Barry's and Oliver's faces interjected.

"It's like Redbull and alcohol."

"So, power to control emotion?" Wells asked, wheeling over to take a look at the scans.

"That's not what it felt like. It felt like they weren't coming from me." Barry corrected. Cisco spun in his chair trying to think of a name. He opened his mouth but, was cut off by Caitlin.

"How about Hippocramper!" Cisco stood up, slowly walked over to Caitlin, and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You need help." Cisco stated, he sat back down. Felicity and Diggle walked in and immediately went over to Barry.

"How you feeling Kid?" Diggle asked placing a hand on his shoulder. Barry just shrugged.

"Eh, I'm fine." He replied. The veteran gave him a suspicious look, then backed off. Barry really wish he hadn't, inside Barry still hurt. It was as if the meta's power was still in full effect. He really wanted to tell someone, anyone but, he knew he just couldn't. Barry was taken out of his thoughts by Cisco's voice.

"Our meta's making a second attempt. You think you can handle this one Barry?" Cisco asked concern clear in his voice. Barry was suited up before Cisco even finished his sentence.

"Yeah I'm good." Barry replied before speeding out the door. Oliver grabbed his bow and slung his quiver over his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Felicity asked, chasing the archer. He didn't even turn when replying.

"To stop a robbery." With that the billionaire was gone. The Flash arrived at the scene, before taking on the meta, he grabbed two clerks and four customers. When they were a safe distance the speedster raced in. He grabbed some chains used to divide the lines and wrapped the meta in them. The man didn't try to escape, he only stood there looking at his front pant pocket.

"Do you know why I do this?" The man asked, beckoning the hero closer. He signed towards his left front pocket. The Flash pulled out a picture of a beautiful young girl no more than fourteen.

"That's my daughter, her name is Ke Ola." The man explained.

"Life." The Flash translated. The meta nodded.

"Her mother died during childbirth, I'm the only family she has, and now she is dying of cancer. I was recently laid off and this is the only way I can pay for her care." the father finished. A lone tear fell from Barry's eye as he remembered his own mother's death. A hand was placed on the speedster's shoulder. He looked up to see The Arrow.

"I have a friend who may be able to help you." He pulled the restrained man onto his back and sped off to S.T.A.R Labs.

"Hey Bar-" Cisco cut himself off when he saw the meta Barry was carrying.

"Why are we not taking him to the cells?" Caitlin asked keeping her distance from the man.

"We're going to help him." Barry stated blandly. He undid the chains that were previously restraining the man.

"How would we be doing that?" Dr. Wells asked wheeling into the cortex.

"He is only robbing the banks to help his daughter, so we'll be giving him an alternative." Barry answered.

"I have some connections in Starling City that could really help." The Arrow said as he walked into the cortex. The man sat and stared in a mix of fear and awe at the green archer. Caitlin walked the man over to the medical table where scanners were set up. She began to work with him while Cisco and Wells worked on some tech. Barry looked over at his boyfriend.

"So, what are you thinking of doing to help him?" Barry asked. Oliver stood behind him so Barry could lean his head back on Oliver's chest.

"I'm thinking of calling Mr. Queen to set up a fundraiser for him." Oliver answered.

"I have a name you know." The meta said to Caitlin.

"You should tell us it if you don't want us to call you _he_." Caitlin said taking some blood from the man.

"Who knew Caitlin could roast!" Cisco shouted from where he was working. Caitlin simply rolled her eyes and continued her work.

"I'm Sebastian. And you are?" Sebastian introduced.

"That's not for you to know Mr. Sebastian." Wells interjected. Sebastian looked a little hurt but startled.

"Okay so what can I call you?" He asked. Caitlin opened her mouth to answer but, was quickly cut off by Cisco.

"No! Caitlin, no. I don't want to be stuck with an shamefully stupid name. I'll do this, thank you." Caitlin threw her arms up in exasperation and plopped down in a seat.

"Okay, the guy in the wheelchair will be known as The Doctor, the lady over here who enjoys brutally murdering cool names will be known as The Healer and I'll be known as Master Yoda." Cisco informed. Barry clapped Cisco on the back.

"The prize for most hilarious names goes to Master Yoda." He joked.

"And he said _I'm_ horrible with names." Caitlin mumbled.

 **Okay, I put some humor into this one. I love Caitlin and Cisco's humor when they're together. This one did have an 'iffy' point, there will be more of these.**

 **Until next time speedsters. ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hell readers and welcome back to another chapter of I'm Fine. I'm sorry for not** **writing** **often, my mum is having some health problems right now so I'm doing my best to help her. In my free time I'll be writing.**

 **I know I have forgotten to do this so here is a special thanks to** **BusyBunny** **and** **KDeasi** **for commenting!**

 **If you want your name up there please comment. I love reading them, they fill the void where my soul should be.**

"Okay, enough talking. We need to fix Mr. Sebastian's problem and work on others." Wells said clearly annoyed by Cisco's immaturity. Cisco went back over to his computer with a huff. Barry sped down to Jitters to grab some coffee, changing into normal clothing on the way. He skidded to a stop a block from Jitters in an ally. The speedster walked into the coffee shop and bought everyone a coffee.

"Hey Iris." Barry greeted as his 'sister' brought over his order.

"Hey Barr." Iris replied, she set down the coffees and gave him a hug.

"I haven't seen you in awhile, I've missed your 'Barr Hugs." She joked. He nodded knowing what was coming next.

"I'm planning a special date for Valentine's Day. Do you know anywhere I good?" Iris asked.

"No, but, I can look into it." Barry replied heavy hearted but, not showing it. He had hid his feelings for Iris for years, he also hid many other feelings too. That made it easy for moments like this.

"Thanks Barry! You're the best friend ever." Iris thanked with another hug. The two friends said their goodbyes and parted ways. Barry walked down a couple blocks before sitting in an ally. He finally let go, a few tears fell. He couldn't let Iris see how much she was hurting him. It would be too much to put on her shoulders. He'll just have to keep going forward, eventually they won't need him anymore, right? Barry pulled himself back up and sped back to S.T.A.R. Labs.

"Hey guys, got some coffee."

"Nice! Thanks Bar- I mean Flash." Cisco said grabbing the cup with his name written on it with black sharpie. Caitlin grabbed her's and Sebastian's coffee. Barry handed Dr. Wells his before taking his own. The team began chatting leaving Barry out completely, even Sebastian was in on the conversation. _I guess I'll just leave then. They won't notice, right. I'm not important._ Barry thought. He left for Joe's house in hopes of seeing him there so he wouldn't be totally alone. But, of course, when Barry opened the door the house was empty. Barry remembered when the house used to be filled with laughter during their game nights. He remembered how warm the house felt when they'd snuggle close together with hot chocolate and watch movies. But, now the house felt cold and quiet. It made Barry feel empty inside, like there was a void where his soul should be. Barry didn't feel like hanging out in the living room so, he went to bed. That night Barry slept restlessly, he had fitful dreams.

 _Barry sat alone in his room, it was almost midnight when he heard it. A soft tapping, tap, tap, tap. That was all he heard,the tapping got louder and louder until it was banging. Bang! Bang! Bang! Against Barry's bedroom door, he was afraid, he couldn't move. The only thing Barry could do was pull the covers over his head, so he did. Through the blanket he saw a figure, it was tall and muscular, probably male._

" _Joe?" Barry asked, that was his first mistake. The figure growled deeply and a pair of sharp talon-like hands grabbed the blanket and ripped it off of the paralyzed speedster. But, there was no one in the room. Barry shook with fear as he placed his feet on the floor, that was his second mistake. The talon-like hands that had ripped the blanket off him before shot out from under the bed and grabbed his ankles. The thing began to pull him under, Barry fought with all he had but, it had a death grip on him._

" _Joe! Iris! Help!" He called out. The door swung open with Iris and Joe rushing in. Barry reached out his arm towards them but, they only looked at him and began laughing. They turned and left Barry, they left him to die. The thing pulled him all the way under the bed. Instead of seeing the underside of his bed, Barry was met with a large gorge. The thing that once held his ankles was gone. He was alone, suddenly, Barry's body wasn't his own, his legs moved against his will. They moved him closer and closer to the edge, one step at a time. Until there was no more ground to walk on._ Barry sat up in his bed so quickly he fell off the edge. His lamp was knocked over in the process falling onto the floor with a crash. The light bulb broke cutting his arm, Barry saw the crimson liquid running down his arm, he felt at peace. Barry was so calm he almost didn't notice Iris walk in.

"You okay Bar- Oh my God!" Iris said as she ran over to Barry. She brought Barry downstairs and began washing his arm. As she finished cleaning his arm and was wrapping it Iris asked. "Barry, what happened?" Barry hesitated, he didn't know whether to tell Iris about his dream or lie.

"I fell and knocked over my lamp." He replied. It wasn't a lie, it was just a completely undetailed version of the truth. Iris seemed to buy it.

"Promise me you'll be more careful okay Barry. I don't want you to end up in another coma." Iris joked. Barry nodded with a small smile.

"What are you doing home? I thought you were staying with Eddie." Barry asked trying to change the subject. Iris finished bandaging Barry's arm and was putting the supplies away when she answered.

"Eddie was called in so, I decided to drop by to see if you had any ideas for our date yet." _Of course she wasn't here to see me. She has Eddie._ Barry thought, more than a little hurt. Barry grabbed his laptop and logged on.

"Yeah, I got some ideas." He opened a few pages and showed Iris the restaurants. The first one was a high star, fancy, restaurant with top chefs. The second was a little less high class but still very fancy. The last was the small cafe on the outskirts of town that Oliver took Barry to.

"So, what do you think?" Barry asked. Iris mulled it over for a minute before answering.

"I like the little cafe. Can you give me the address?"

"Uh, yeah." The forensic searched for a pen. He wrote the address on a slip of paper and handed it to Iris.

"Thanks Barr! I owe you." Iris said giving him a hug. After Iris's car pulled out of the driveway Barry let go. He sat against the wall with his knees pulled tight to his chest and cried. Barry looked over at the broken light bulb and thought of how good it felt when the glass cut his skin, how calm he felt when the blood trickled down his arm. No, Barry was strong, he would not give in to such destructive actions. _Just once wouldn't hurt. Nobody would know, and the pain would all go away._ A voice in the back of the speedster's head coaxed.

"I can't, if I do then I'll just be addicted like anyone else." Barry spoke aloud. _You can't get addicted the first time. You'll be fine._

"How do you know? You're just a voice in my head." _I'm not just a voice, I know what's best. And what's best is to just do it Barry. You know you want to so, just do it. You're head will be clear and you'll feel better, I promise._ With that Barry gave in. He dejectedly got up and took a piece of the broken bulb. He placed the shard on his skin and watched in awe as a deep red began to drip down his arm. One cut became three, three became seven, seven became fifteen. Barry began to feel dizzy, he heard the front door open. He quickly shook off the dizziness and used his speed to clean up the blood and glass. Barry then changed out of his blood soaked shirt and jeans and put on a hoodie and a fresh pair of pants.

"Hey Joe." Barry greeted when he got downstairs. He tugged at his sleeves to make sure his bandages weren't showing. This action went unnoticed by the exhausted detective.

"Hey Barr." Joe yawned. He went upstairs and went to sleep, Barry decided to do the same, he had a long night. Barry woke up ten minutes before his alarm clock that morning. Joe had the day off but, Barry didn't. The forensic got to work on time, the Captain looked at him surprised.

"Allen, you made it to work on time. Good job." The Captain complimented.

"I guess there's a first time for everything, right Barry." Eddie joked clapping him on the back. Barry forced a laugh and left to go look over the crime scene. It was a man who had been reported missing a week ago. He had finally turned up unfortunately, he turned up with a bullet in his brain.

"What do you have Allen?" Asked the Captain as he worked his way over to the younger.

"He was about 34, married, fake hip, shot by a Titanium Gold Desert Eagle in .440 cordon. He died about 24 hours ago." Barry said.

"No I.D.?" Asked Eddie who also made his way over to the forensic. Barry didn't answer, he only stared at the victim for a minute. Eddie called his name but, Barry didn't respond. Barry gave Eddie a sick look.

"I think I found the victim's I.D." Barry said looking a little sick.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Captain Singh asked not catching on. Barry grabbed a scalpel out of his kit and opened the victim's shirt. He began cutting open the skin on the corpse's abdominal. Captain Singh finally caught on and became a sickly green color, Eddie ran to go throw up. Barry cut through muscle until he found the fake hip. He reached his hand into the corpse and through the hip. At this point all of the police at the scene were watching Barry, a few ran to go throw up. Barry was almost up to his elbow in the corpse when he felt the I.D. Relief flowed through him, and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Barry slowly pulled his arm out of the victim. One of the officers had an evidence bag open and ready for Barry to put the I.D. into. Barry dropped the I.D. into the bag and collected his stuff with his clean hand.

"You can have the rest of the day off, Allen. That took some major guts, no pun intended." The Captain told Barry after he finished packing. Barry thanked him and rounded the corner into an ally. Once out of sight Barry sped home. He hopped in the shower and scrubbed as hard as he could getting all the blood off his arm. He got out and dressed and headed downstairs.

"Hey Barr, I didn't expect you to be home so soon." Joe said. He noticed Barry looked a little sick.

"Singh gave me the rest of the day off." Barry explained.

"I could see why, you look sick to your stomach Barry." Barry only looked down at the comment.

"Are you okay, Barr?" Joe asked sitting Barry down.

"I- I had to stick my arm in a dead guy and pull out an I.D. from his fake hip." Barry explained, he shuttered at the thought. Joe's eyes widened.

"Oh, that's, Barry, uh, wow." The detective stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's okay Joe, I'm going to go to S.T.A.R. Cisco and Caitlin will help me forget about it." The speedster said before disappearing leaving behind a gust of wind.

 **Okay, this chapter was short but, the** **explanation** **is at the top. I think I maybe, just a little, went overboard with the nightmare, but why not. I'm sorry about the gore (not very cause its my life story) I'll get another chapter out for this and my other story What's Left to Lose. Its a Young Justice fic, there are some spelling errors that a reader was kind enough to comment about, those will be fixed shortly. So, hopefully you guys will check those out.**

 **Until next time S.T.A.R. fans and Mercury fans. ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**This one is pretty short, sorry guys. But, like I said, not a lot of free time right now. Warning for suicial actions, blood, sad stuff 'n' stuff.**

 **A special thanks to** **vibeycisco ****imtherealalpha** **and** **KDesai** **for commenting!**

 **If you want you name featured at the top, please comment.**

He skidded to a halt in the cortex.

"Shoes! Shoes!" Shouted Cisco. Barry looked down to see his smoking shoes. The pain felt good but, he put out the flames anyway.

"Hey Barry, are you okay? You seem a little off." Caitlin asked, Barry stiffed at the question.

"I-I'm fine, just a little tired, that's all." The forensics stuttered. Caitlin eyed him suspiciously.

"So, Mr. Allen, what brings you to S.T.A.R. this wonderful morning." Dr. Wells said sarcastically as he rolled into the cortex. It wasn't a beautiful morning at all, the sky was covered in a blanket of clouds so dark they almost looked black. Rain was pouring, the only light in the sky was the occasional strike of lightning. It was a typical monday morning.

"I, uh, just wanted to stop by. I had a pretty rough morning." Barry answered. He leaned on a desk as Cisco told him about some new ideas for the suit. Barry only half listened to Cisco's rambling, the speedster's mind kept wandering back to the events that occurred last night. _Did they notice? Joe seemed suspicious. Does he know?_ Barry thought. The forensic was taken out of his thoughts by a certain Starling City vigilante.

"I've got the fundraiser squared away. It's tonight, you guys are all welcome to come to it." Oliver said as he took a seat next to his boyfriend.

"Hey Ollie." Barry greeted, his tone a little depressed.

"Barr, are you okay? You seem-" The archer was cut off by Barry.

"I'm fine." He interrupted, wanting to get off the topic. Oliver gave him a suspicious look but, he knew not to push Barry. Instead Oliver pulled out a box with a red ribbon secured around it and handed it to Barry.

"What's this for?" Barry asked, blushing hard.

"Open it and see." Oliver replied. Barry undid the ribbon and removed the lid. Inside the box was a tux with gold cufflinks and a green silk tie that matched his eyes.

"How did you afford this?" The speedster asked.

"He couldn't, I may have given him a small loan." A female voice said from behind the two men.

"Thea, what are you doing in Central City?" Caitlin asked, surprised to see her.

"My brother is asking his boyfriend to prom, wouldn't miss it for the world." Thea joked.

"Ha, ha, very funny Speedy. It's just a fundraiser nothing important." The older Queen clarified. Barry's heart dropped, his chest felt like somebody took a crowbar to it. _It's nothing important._ Oliver's words played in Barry's head, over and over, like a broken record. _Is that what he thought? It wasn't important to ask Barry out. Was he talking about the date or was he talking about me?_ Barry felt like he couldn't breathe, his head was reeling, black spots were beginning to dance across his vision.

"Hey Barry, are you okay? Barry?" Oliver asked, Barry didn't answer. Barry heard his name being called, everyone had a worried look on their face. _I need to get out. I need to go._ That was all Barry thought. So, he did. There was a gust of wind and then silence. Barry found himself at the cliff, not just any cliff, the one in his dream. Barry looked over the edge, the bottom was covered in large, jagged rocks. Barry sat at the edge, his heart ached, his arms begged for the blade. Barry pulled out a pocket knife, he opened the blade and rolled up his sleeves. The cuts from last night were gone, the only reminder that it wasn't a dream, were the tiny white lines that lined his arms. There were just barely visible against his pale skin. Barry pressed the blade to his arm, the cool feeling of the metal against his warm skin made him shiver. Barry made the first cut, Barry's mind flashed back to the night at the coffee shop, when he saw Iris, when she asked him to help with Eddie. Barry made another cut, deeper this time. Barry's mind flashed back to when his dad was taken to prison. Another cut, much deeper. Barry kept making cut after cut, deeper and deeper. With each cut, Barry felt more and more pain. _Worthless, idiot, failure._ The words repeated in his mind, taunting him to cut deeper. Tears and blood soaked Barry's shirt but, that didn't stop him. Barry ran out of room on his arms so, he moved to his thighs and legs. Cut after cut after cut until the world went black.

 ** _Sooooooooooo, that was, very, um, yeah. I guess this is sort of my cry for mental help. I don't know. Anyhooo, comment please._**

 ** _And as always..._**

 ** _Until next time Metas and Norms. ;)_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello readers, I have a new chapter! Yay! I also got an account on Wattpad if you want to check it out. The username is Scar_InMy_Heart. Please check it out.**

 **Today's special thanks goes to *drum roll*** **KDesai** **and** **BusyBunny** **!**

 **Don't forget to comment to get featured in the next chapter.**

"Dr. Wells, have you seen Barry?" Oliver asked.

"No, I have not." He answered blandly.

"Barry probably just needed to clear his head. Maybe he went for a walk, er, run." Caitlin assured.

"He hasn't been answering his phone and it's almost dark. I'm really worried." Oliver said.

"If I track his phone, then will you stop worrying?" Felicity asked. Oliver nodded and Felicity got to work. A few seconds later Felicity turned the computer to face Oliver.

"It says he's right outside Central City." The blonde techie informed. Oliver got even more worried. Felicity gave him a stern look.

"You promised you'd stop worrying." She stated.

Barry woke up very light headed. He tried to stand up but, his sore limbs refused to move. Barry check the time to find he had been out for three hours.

"Ollie's going to kill me." Barry said with a sigh. _Why don't you do it for him?_

"It's a metaphor." Barry replied out loud. _Still, why not. You won't have to feel anything. Just move a little to the right and it'll all be over._ After that, Barry realised how close to the edge of the cliff he was. His limbs started working again and pulled him away from the edge. Barry sluggishly sped home. Joe's car wasn't in the driveway so Barry walked in at normal speed. The cold emptiness of the house once again made him feel sad and hollow. He trudged up the stairs to the bathroom. He washed off all the blood and threw away his clothes.

"Peroxide can't get that out." He mumbled as he threw on a hoodie and a pair of jeans. Barry looked at the scars on his arm. The deeper ones were more visible than the rest. The light pink stood out more than the white against his more so pale skin. Barry looked at his phone,

"Forty-six missed calls!" He shouted in surprised. The forensic sped down to S.T.A.R. Labs hoping his friends and boyfriend wouldn't murder him. A gust of wind signaled Barry's arrival.

"Barry!" Everyone shouted. They began to crowd around him scolding or asking questions. The room began to feel smaller, Barry's chest tightened, he was having trouble breathing. Barry was about to run when a hand pulled him out of the mess and into the hall. He looked up to see Oliver.

"Ollie I-" Barry was cut off.

"It's okay, I'm here." Oliver held Barry in his arms as Barry let go. Tears he didn't know he had were released. Oliver sat against the wall with Barry still in his arms. They stayed like that until Barry was ready.

"Barry, what happened?"

"I was just so overwhelmed, I couldn't breathe. I just needed to get out, to go somewhere alone."

"Next time just tell me, I was so worried that something happened to you."

The couple sat together in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company.

"I love you." Oliver said kissing Barry.

"I love you too." Barry replied returning the kiss.

A few minutes later the door leading into the cortex opened. Oliver and Barry walked in, Cait looked at Oliver for the 'okay' to approach Barry, Oliver nodded.

"Barry you look really pale, are you okay?" Cait asked. She brought him over to the medical table. Cisco grabbed some calorie bars and handed them to Barry.

"So, how's it going?" Cisco asked awkwardly. Barry just shrugged and munched on the bland tasting bars. Caitlin began to roll up the speedster's sleeve to take a blood sample. Barry jerked away and quickly rolled his sleeve back down.

"Barr, are you-" Oliver was cut off by a somewhat startled Barry.

"I'm fine, I-I have to go." He stammered before speeding off. Everyone stood in silence shocked by the scene that had just occurred. Oliver began marching out the door.

"Where are you going?" Felicity asked grabbing his shoulder.

"He is **not** fine! If you think I'm going to stand by and watch!" Oliver ran out of the room to go find Barry. Oliver tracked Barry to the cliff outside of town. He hopped off his motorcycle and sat next to Barry at the edge of the cliff.

"Barry, what's going on with you?" Oliver asked.

"It hurts, so bad." Barry said tears beginning to fall moistening the dry ground beneath him.

"What hurts, Barry, what's going on?"

"My heart, it hurts. Please, make it stop. Make it stop beating." Barry looked up at Oliver with pleading eyes. Oliver place his hand on Barry's chest, he put his forehead against Barry's. He began humming their favorite song.

"I heard there was a secret chord," He began to sing softly.

"That David played and it pleased the Lord." Barry continued.

"But, you don't really care for music, do you. Well, it goes like this the fourth the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift, the baffled king composing hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah." They both sang together. Oliver pulled Barry into his lap and held him close. Barry let a river of tears flow from his beautiful green eyes. Oliver held him tighter and let some of his own tears fall. They stayed there holding each other like life depended on it crying into each other's shoulder for hours. Barry had finally run out of tears so had Oliver. They stayed there looking at the stars. The sky was clear that night and the stars shone like diamonds in the sunlight. The slam of a car door made them jump.

"There you guys are! Ollie, you had us worried half to death." Thea scolded.

"You guys still up for the fundraiser? You kind of have to make an appearance." Caitlin asked. Oliver looked at Barry to see if he was okay, Barry nodded.

"We'll be there." Oliver stated. They stood up and headed over to Oliver's motorcycle. He handed Barry his extra helmet before putting on his own.

The fundraiser was held in the Verdant. Classical music was playing through the speakers, people in nice evening wear sipping champagne where everywhere. Barry stayed by Oliver's side while Thea left to see how people were enjoying the party. Caitlin, Cisco, Felicity, and Diggle stayed by the bar chatting with one and other. When couples began dancing Oliver took Barry's hand and lead him to the center of the room. Barry placed a hand on Oliver's shoulder and his other in the archer's hand.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier, about this being 'nothing important." Oliver apologized quietly so others couldn't listen in.

"Ollie, it's fine. I'm just glad we're here together." Barry assured. Barry was happy, he really was, but, there was still that small voice in the back of his head that told him he'll regret this moment.

They finished the dance and moved over their friends.

"You owe me ten." Caitlin told Cisco. He grumbled and handed her a ten dollar bill.

"What was that about?" Thea asked.

"We had a bet on whether Barry was dominate or not." Caitlin informed with a smirk. Barry's face went tomato red. They spent the rest of the night laughing and talking until it was time for Oliver to go give his speech. He and Sebastian walked up to the DJ stand.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are here to help a friend." He looked over at Sebastian. "His daughter is in need of medical care but, he is unable to pay for her. So, all of you have gathered here to hopefully donate to help this cause. Thank you for your time ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy the rest of the party." Oliver finished his speech and walked off stage to join Barry again. Everyone was complimenting him but, Barry stayed quiet. He was getting tired from faking a smile. He really wished he didn't have to, it begins to hurt after a while.

"Hey Barr, are you okay?" The archer asked pulling Barry out of his thoughts.

"Hm, oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Last time you said that, you were the exact opposite."

"I'm fine, Ollie." Oliver gave Barry a look.

"If I dance with you, will you stop worrying?" Oliver nodded then lead Barry into the center of the room again. They dance gracefully, never missing a step. Barry wished life could be like this, but, it couldn't.

 **So, recap, Barry is sad, Thea still has the Verdant, Ollie** **apologized** **, Barry and Ollie have a song (awwwww), and Cisco is down $10. Yep.**

 **Until next time! (Please help! I've run out of names!)**


End file.
